Receiving breakfast and dinner are my two favorite moments of the day. I wait all day and all night, thinking about the moment the food appears. I lick my chops at the mere thought of it. The only thing better than breakfast and dinner is receiving what I like to call, second breakfast or second dinner. You might wonder, how do you get that lucky? Well, it is easy, and here are a few tips on the best ways to make that happen.
Receive first meal
This is pretty straightforward. For breakfast, start scoping out the bedroom around 4am. Treat Daddy and Mom are usually asleep, so it is important that I wake them up. I begin by hopping into bed and pressing on Treat Daddy's leg. Then, I wiggle my way between them, step on to Treat Daddy's pillow, and hatch. This ensures that he can feel me, and if he opens his eyes, see me. If this does not work, I move over to Mom and do the same thing. By now, they are starting to toss and turn a bit. Mission accomplished. Next, I take a stroll up Mom's hip to her ribs, and instead of hatching, I stand. She usually groans. She is waking up. On mornings that none of this works, I run back and forth and proceed to jump on their stomachs and ribs. This guarantees them waking up. Once awake, I lead them to the back of the house to the cupboard where my food is. If they put it down lower, I could reach it myself--silly hoomans. Bam, breakfast.
My approach is the same for dinner, a war of attrition. I begin by following Treat Daddy everywhere he goes. I swipe at his ankles. If he is on the couch, I hatch his chest. Oh, he is getting up? Let me quickly lead him to the back of the house. Sometimes he gets lost though and goes a different direction, so I yodel at him, or I run over to him and swipe at his ankles again. Eventually, he gives up and feeds me.
Now, on to the next step, trickery.
Trickery
This is easiest with breakfast because neither of them wakes up at the same time. So, after chowing down on my first breakfast, I proceed to do the exact process as before, but with the other person this time. I try my best to look panicked or looked starved. I try to lead them to food. I jump on them. If they do not pay attention, they won't know I already ate. This works about 25% of the time.
Spite Vomit
As we all know, I would never spite vomit to get breakfast faster. In that same train of thought, I would never, ever, spite vomit to get second breakfast. If I eat to destroy the evidence, then spite vomit a little later, and then look disinterested in breakfast, they will put down a fresh plate and put a brand new can of food on it. It is like Christmas. This works more often than trickery. In fact, it worked yesterday. The best part is, they never know.
Treats
When getting second breakfast or second dinner does not work, I go for the nuclear option. Get as many treats as possible. This involves a lot of ankle swiping, looking adorable, and swiping at Treat Daddy's back when he sits at the kitchen counter. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, Treat Daddy and Mom were doing taxes, they do taxes a lot, and I swiped at him so many times that he got up within a few minutes and gave me dinner. On one paw, I couldn't believe it worked, and on the other paw, I was super excited.
In all, it is not always easy to get second breakfast or second dinner, but in the end, it is well worth it. Below, you can see me in action. Also, do not forget to follow @notwilsonthecat on Twitter for other content and to receive updates about my blog. Remember, I am definitely not a cat.
